Events

Our world is anything but peaceful and there is plenty to be afraid of. If we already have a tendency towards anxiety, the present state of the world is likely making things worse.

But not only are we anxious because of what’s going on “out there”, we are also anxious because of the thoughts generated in our own minds.

“What if” thoughts are characteristic of anxiety. And rarely do we “what if” about winning the lottery or living to be 100 years old, happy and healthy with all of our faculties intact! Rather, we worry, doomscroll and imagine worst case scenarios. We fear for our safety and security, the unknown and the loss of control. More and more we fear each other, and sometimes we even fear love.

Anxiety is a “messenger”, letting us know that something is amiss. Many strategies for relieving anxiety don’t work in the long run because anxiety is often a cover for something else, something deeper - maybe unsung grief, or anger, or shame. As long as we aren’t addressing the core issues generating our anxiety, it's likely to remain stubborn and immoveable.

So much that is going on in the world is beyond our control, but we always have agency over our thoughts, feelings and behaviour.  Join me on Tuesday, June 24th to learn more about how we can quiet our minds, soothe our anxiety and make space for more love, happiness and peace of mind.

Why is everyone so angry? Actually, a better question is what is everyone so angry about?

Anger gets a bad rap. Not because of what anger is - an intelligent, natural, normal human emotion that shows up for a reason. Like all our other feelings, anger is simply a messenger telling us that something is not right. Anger gets a bad rap because of how we mismanage it.

Anger is not neutral. Left to its own devices, it will cause us to go on the attack. We will attack others (blame, scapegoat), the situation (this is bad, this shouldn't be happening), or ourselves (guilt, shame).

When anger becomes our armour, it hardens the heart. When anger gets stuck or is left unaddressed, it creates distance and inner turmoil. When anger is unchecked, it scorches relationships, sabotages peace and leaves us feeling regretful and out of control.

We need ways to release its grip.

Cooling the anger means learning how to hold and express our anger without allowing it to burn us or those around us. It means slowing down enough, becoming aware and mindful enough to listen to what it's trying to say. Beneath the heat, there is almost always something more tender that needs our loving attention - fear, hurt, a boundary crossed, a need unmet.

Join me to learn about tools we can use to cool the anger, to pause, and to move through it in ways that restore connection to ourselves and to others.

We're a highly opinionated society. There's no lack of opportunity to express our views on an endless list of topics, whether mundane or urgently important. But do we really know what we're talking about? Are we more interested in being clever and scoring points than engaging in meaningful discussion? Do we get stuck in the rut of our own 'expertise' which often thinks it knows more than it actually does?

We definitely need to think critically and to exercise our power of discernment. These are crucial skills and practices. However, all too often, what we are doing is imposing our own experiences, beliefs, fears and prejudices on people and events that we in fact know very little about. This can lead us to make hurtful, inaccurate and dismissive snap judgments that cause us to close our hearts and to widen the gap between ourselves and others. This kind of judgment needs to soften.

One of the cornerstones of the practice of mindfulness is adopting a Beginner's Mind. This means being willing to see things as if for the first time, unencumbered by a constant stream of judging as good or bad, right or wrong, and reaction to our own judgment. The writer Anaïs Nin said it beautifully: We don't see things as THEY are; rather, we see things as WE are.

Join me to learn about how we can soften our judgment and engage in thought and action that anchors us in compassion, understanding and kindness towards ourselves and others.

If dismissive snap judgments based on limited knowledge and understanding separate us from one another, then cultivating empathy and compassion is the clarion call to close the gap. We are all experiencing the chaos, rapid change and disruption together. It helps to remember the Golden Rule to always treat others as we want to be treated ourselves.

Becoming more empathic and compassionate is a process that takes time, effort and a commitment to reorient our minds and hearts. Join me as we talk about ways to retrain our responses and form mental habits that are kinder, gentler and less fearful of others.